We chose Panama City Beach the way one would if they were to spin a globe, stop it suddenly, and select the first place whose letters were no longer a blur.
We rolled the words around our mouths, considered the price we wanted to pay, and searched for vacation properties. For weeks, we sent ideas back and forth until we found one we both liked. My husband emailed the landlord and learned that he lived ten minutes away from us in California. We met the owner at his home, wrote him a check for the month, and he gave us the key to his condo in Horizon South.
It was a gamble.
He could have given us a key to nowhere, but it was our only door so we blindly walked through it — the way we do with our faith. After spending a year in California, we were moving to Florida.
We downsized.
We sold large pieces of furniture, gave tubs of clothes and toys to Goodwill, and stored a few of our favorite items in my sister-in-law’s garage. I watched a plethora of minimalist documentaries and Youtube videos, and enforced the rule: we were allowed one suitcase each to pack our favorite things. My husband was allowed two suitcases, only because he had a small filing system of our important documents, and he wears a size-15 shoes.
Asking the children to downsize was difficult. We had recently celebrated Christmas so making them choose their favorite things was like slashing their new teddy bears in half, and laughing as Polyester fiberfill spilled out onto the floor. They grumbled, but eventually chose their favorite items and packed. I found secret places in my suitcase to stuff a few of their endeared stuffed animals.
We landed at the Orlando Airport, ate lunch, and waited for hubby to get the car we rented. The kids splayed themselves over the suitcases.
As we crammed the small SUV with our suitcases, two older women watched us as a source of entertainment.
They whispered and cheered as we took our seats.
We shared their sentiments and drove off into the lights, onto the Florida highways. We spent the night with seminary friends in Monticello, Florida.
They offered us their bed and the following morning made us delicious coffee and breakfast.
We hugged them, squeezed back into our SUV, and got on the road again. We drove through small, country towns, and arrived at the entrance of the Panama City Beach.
The water on the Bay welcomed me, and I exhaled a breath of relief. We drove down Front Beach Road. Tourist attractions and beach houses lined the road on our right; hotels and the emerald blue-green waters of the Gulf of Mexico outlined our left. We arrived at Horizon South Resort and with each step thereafter, we held our breaths. When hubby punched in the code for the gate, I prayed silently that it would work. When the key turned and the door opened, we laughed a booming laugh, hugged each other, and beckoned the kids from the SUV.
In thirty days I could be dead.
But for now, our family of five was living out my dream – my dying wish.
♥
Kadine
