Agony

It’s been taunting me for about a month now, 

sneaking from behind my back like a coward, 

pressing into my chest, and 

forcing me to question my body and sanity. 

I stopped drinking coffee 

and turned my wine glass down.

Yet, the pressure anchored

and the fire blazed across my chest 

and moved into my shoulders.

I left while the children slept. 

I drove to the ER 

and the doctor gave me a prescription

for acid reflux.

Filled. 

I waited for the pills to bring ease,

but they entered my mouth and got lost. 

My body cried out in agony. 

Several phones to my primary care, 

and a virtual visit later,

she upped my dosage

and wished me well.

Well, I was not.

She suggested another trip to the ER.

I parked in the same spot, 

walked to the nurses stationed outside, 

and did everything on repeat. 

I put on a gown, 

stayed still for the temperature, needles, and the X ray. 

I tried to be clear with answers to the questions. 

The worst cases ruled out, 

the nurse introduced me to Anxiety.

It’s been two days since I shook Anxiety’s hand

but I am still wondering

How can it be? 

Me? 

I garden, 

lounge in the hammock, 

and meditate before bed.

I am Zen … 

To all who walked with me through this month, I am forever grateful.

Thanks for listening to my words through my tears. 

♥

Kadine