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The pain was so intense I searched for calm in an Epsom Salt Bath and numbing from Lidocaine. I searched for relief from heating pads, ice packs, and compression tights – I found nothing.
I curled up in my bed again – broken, hopeless, and tortured by one question:

What if healing never comes?

Endometriosis affects 1 out of 10 women.
A woman who smiles at you today is suffering in silence.
The friend who cancels at the last minute is home trying to understand why her body hates her.
The teenager who just started her cycle and spends more than two days in bed is confused.
The bride-to-be is hoping her marriage can survive this unrelenting pain.
The wife who complains of spasms during or after sex is not trying to avoid passionate love-making. She pays for sex with her days – a great afternoon with her husband is two days on the couch.

The pain is an internal dagger.
For me, it’s been ten years, five surgeries, several therapists, a plethora of pain meds, mindful meditations, prayers and yogis. For others, it worst.

What if healing never comes?

2 Comments

  • anitapelayorivera
    Posted March 1, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    I think your question is a valuable, open-ended question ripe for a discussion. What do we do when the healing, as we see it, never comes?

    • Post Author
      Kadinechristie
      Posted March 2, 2020 at 10:21 pm

      We learn to be gentle with ourselves. Now when I have a flare-up and the pain is intense, I tell my family first. This means a few things. “Mommy won’t be making dinner today and she needs your help.” I also try to minimize my busy-ness, as a lot of activities contribute to my pain. What about you? How do you wait best?

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