“Just Bad Cramps,” My Ass

At age 13, Dr. Nallette told my mother
it was “Just bad cramps.”
I hated her then for minimizing
the war inside my pelvis.

An emergency doctor told me it could be STD’s
and prescribed me antibiotics.

One doctor said it was in my head
when he told me it could be Psychomatic.

Dr. Perry said it was Vaginismus and
prescribed Celebrex for pain.

Another said it was pelvic congestion,
and recommended light exercise.
“Only do light yoga,” she insisted.

Numerous Urgent Care doctors poked around my abdomen and checked my urine for who knows what
but didn’t find anything.

Endometrial tissue broke
through the wall of my uterus
Diagnosis: adenomyosis
Prognosis: hysterectomy, claiming my womb –
the first home of my children-
my fallopian tubes
my appendix
and my cervix.

The treatments have been plenty:
Excising endometrial tissues from my ovary.
Pelvic Floor and Cryotherapy.
The medicines were also in abundance:
Oxycodone. Vaginal Valium and Progesterone.
These were all wasted efforts
that didn’t stop the pain that persisted in my belly.

Twenty-four years of suffering
of living in this body.
Soon I will have another invasive treatment:
embolization in my pelvis for varicose veins.

As I walk the path towards healing
the warfare on my insides continues
I am glad I listened
to my inner pain
and followed my voice.

“Just Bad Cramps,” My Ass.